Tears keep filling my eyes. As I get ready to leave, I pick up pieces of my life scattered around the room, each reminding me of another part of this amazing life I have just lived. A Rome Metro map. Eve’s present I bought in Dublin. A postcard I found waiting in my mailbox. A bag with the receipt for my Halloween costume. The coat I bought at Søren’s house. I am surrounded by scattered remnants of a beautiful life. And now I am packing the last four and a half months into two suitcases and a blue bookbag, hoping I can somehow hold on to the memories.
I wish there were some way to remove this indescribable heaviness in my heart as I realize that I am seeing most of these people for the last time. I may never hug Radka again, kiss Daniel, eat on Søren’s bed, or just be with any of my amazing friends. And they will forget. And I will forget. Not totally. The love and the laughter will be in our hearts and in the faded corners of our minds, but it will never be the same. Nor should it be. We will move on, move away. We will grow up. Get new friends, new lovers, new jobs. The only reminder we will have are old facebook photos, faithfully uploaded. Maybe the occasional traveler, coming to the U.S. where they will be welcomed with open arms and open alcohol.
I don’t know how I will be able to tell you. I probably can’t. There is no way you will know unless you were here.
I am sad tonight.
now this made me cry.