Sometimes I wonder if I have just royally fucked up.
I began scrapbooking a bunch of Denmark stuff today.
Oddly it was not the pictures or the tickets or tour books which got to me.
It was a series of homemade postsecrets sent to me over the course of my time there that left me crying and messy on the floor.
This is the reason I usually cannot read any certain old emails, letters or journal entries…because I seriously struggle with being content and not second-guessing my life or my happiness in that life. Odds are there are definitely moments that we did royally screw it up. There are places where our lives and paths could have become completely different and wonderful and terrible and tragic or whatever, if we had chosen something other than what we did.But thinking about it makes me crazy. And I try to choose my choice again whenever I find myself in those moments – because even though there are parts that suck about where I am at right now, and days where I wish I had gone another direction, there are also some fabulously beautiful moments – and usually, even after crying and being messy – I find that I really am glad I picked them.
Chelsi,
Thank you. This was exactly what I needed to hear/read.
I used to play the painful memory drinking game. I got alcohol poisoning 3 times. Clearly I have made some bad decisions.
If good memories are “good” why do they many times lead us to feeling “bad”?
YOu and I both know that Matty is a gorgeous specimen that you could not live without. Plus, You wouldn’t have ever met me!