According to the VA there are just fewer than 2 million WWII veterans still alive. Every day, 850 of those will die. A week and a half ago, my grandfather was one of them. He was 87 years old.
I have never been really close to my grandparents. We lived in different states and I saw them a few times a year. To many, his death might be another statistic. Another veteran gone. To us — his many family and friends — he is a husband, father, grandfather, son, brother, cousin, friend. A wonderful man who loved chatting. Who did what was necessary, whether that was fighting for his country or taking over a family farm after his father’s death. Who worked hard to provide for his family and because he just liked a job well done. I can never remember him being anything but a kind, old man who cursed occasionally, but never raised his voice and had a mile-wide mischievous streak.
It broke my heart to see Alzheimer’s take him away and turn him into a man who asked the same question 10 times in half an hour. To see him try to leave his house at night to “go home.” To realize that he only knew who a handful of people were at the end. No one should be able to have their mind robbed. No one should have to see their lifelong love lose his memory.
And finally it caught up to him. He died peacefully by the side of the woman he loved for nearly 70 years.
I heard my grandma praying, praying and sobbing, the night after he died. I cannot imagine what it must be like to not have him there. To be with someone for three times longer than you were without him and then to have him just… not there. It breaks my heart. When she looked at him for the last time before they closed his coffin, she looked bewildered. She looked lost. One of the sharpest, most together women I know looked lost.
A man I love died. He was not special in any celebrity sense. He was special in the sense that every kind and wonderful person is special. And he deserves to be remembered.
I can relate to your story exactly. My Grandfather on my Dad’s side died 4 years ago. I felt the same things and saw the same things in my families eyes. Even though he did have his mind all there, it was still a great loss for our family. I am very sorry for you loss.
I am sorry for your loss and greatful the things people like your Grandfather did.
This is so incredibly heartbreaking, and I am so sorry for yours and your grandma’s loss. This was a really beautiful tribute to a wonderful man.
What a lovely post. Your grandmother was beautiful. One cannot imagine what it’s like to lose a loved one who has been by your side for so long. You’d think it would get easier at that age. I love that your grandmother carries that hope and belief with her.
I’m very sorry to read that – it’s a heartbreaking story.
As a military historian, it’s easy to see both sides of things: the personal stories behind each person, and the unimaginable number of people who make up the statistics, but it’s hard to comprehend the weight behind each person’s existance in an event in time, and the stories that back them up.
Many of those individual stories will never be known. But I really believe the more you can personalize something, the more you can put a face to a statistic, our world will be better.
What a sweet post. I’m sorry for your loss but greatful for the fact that he served his country.
Condolences…and thanks for sharing.
Crystal
http://www.crystalspins.com
You and your family are lucky to have had such a person in your family tree, and others like me are grateful for him, too. My life, too, is touched by Alzheimer’s. Thank you for sharing your story.
What a beautiful tribute to your Grandfather. He sounds like a remarkable man. Thank you for sharing his story with us.
I’d love to give your Grandma a hug and listen to her stories about the man she loved so long. There are few things in this world so beautiful as such a lifetime love.
What a beautiful memorial to a man, a grandfather, a hero. I hope you find strength in your words and in your memories.
This blog came up on the live feed when I was checking out my blog. I usually don’t take the time to read the suggested blogs, but I read yours. My grandpa also fought in WWII (who’s didn’t, right?) But I know exactly what you mean, and I know what you’re going through. I’m very sorry for your loss. I think you sum upped your feelings incredibly well.
Hi Di
I’m inspired by your writing on this topic. I recently toured the Normandy beaches (and blogged about it) with my 85yr old father in law and know that we owe our freedom to men such as your grandfather. The pictures you showed were wonderfully poignant and I hope your grandmother will seek solace in the memories that unfortunately your grandfather didn’t have at the end. We all hope one day for a cure to Alzheimers.
Many thanks for sharing.
Hugs TinaCortina x
I am very sorry for your loss. May his soul rest in peace. I can understand your pain because I lost my own grandfather (who was also a war veteran) few months back. It is because of men like him that we are able to breathe the air of freedom today. They will always stay in our hearts.
i am sorry for your loss. he will still be around your grandmother in spirit. i know this. thanks for the beautiful post.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
“He was special in the sense that every kind and wonderful person is special. And he deserves to be remembered.” I understand this all too well.
What a beatiful and sad story. Sorry for your lose.
My condolences to your family for your loss. I had a similar experience seven years ago. My father passed away and he and my mom were together (sweethearts and then man and wife) for 54 years. It was very hard for my mom and our family-still is. However, time does make it a little easier and you will always have memories.
http://www.moneyprovidesfreedom.wordpress.com
It was a very nice post to read. My grandfather was also a WWII veteran and passed away a couple years ago. He didn’t have Alzheimer’s, but did have general dementia that slowly deteriorated his condition. Thankfully he was able to hold my baby daughter, his great-granddaughter a couple times before then.
Regarding issues of religion and the afterlife, I always took comfort in this old Buddhist liturgy from Japan called the Liturgy of White Ashes:
http://www12.canvas.ne.jp/horai/white%20ashes.htm
Religion issues aside, I think it has some good things to say.
Thanks for the link and for your comment. We feel very blessed that he was able to meet my nephew (the only great grandchild from our part of the family) before he died. He loved children and always pulled out pics of the newest great-grandkid to show visitors.
Of course Christians – those that believe in and follow the Creator Jesus Christ of Nazareth – will see other saved souls in Heaven. Those that did not follow Him – do what He wished and commanded – will end up in Hell where the majority of souls are headed. That is Bible.
But in Hell – there will be no ‘nice meetings’ with departed unsaved souls. NO. There is only blackness, darkness, fire, tortures, burnings, etc. in Hell.
Our frames, bodies, temples are just ‘earth suits’ for our spirit/soul. There is a judgment after we die. Indeed. Lord Jesus help us.
Well Darryl,
Then he and my grandma will have a lovely reunion after her death.
I personally disagree with your interpretation, and really don’t understand why you felt it appropriate to post this comment. However, I’m not really concerned about your opinion.
Well said Di. I disagree with his interpretation too. What’s more is that it was indeed incredibly inappropriate to respond that way. I do believe, Di, that we will see our loved one’s again. Regardless of how we lived. God is a loving god.
This was well written and a new reminder of the many who gave their time and lives serving our country.
Great post, so heartfelt. Condolences on your loss and congrats on being able to share what your grandfather meant to you.
You made a great post. My uncle was also a WWII verteran who pased away almost 10 years ago. We was a hard-working man who created a successful business and quietly raised his children. He was never famous in any sense, just an ordinary man living an ordinary life. But, he fought for his country and was willing to die for it, if necessary; like so many other quiet heroes of that generation. My sympathies on the passing of your grandfather.
I really like the description of your uncle. I think the stories of these “quiet heroes” are some of the most interesting and fascinating. I hope we can keep telling them.
That was a beautiful tribute. My condolensces to your family for your loss.
Lovely tribute to your grandfather.
My grandpa is 93 years old and is surviving his wife’s death by 8 years now… Sometimes he forgets his kids names and many of his grandchildrens’ names but he can remember things from his young married life… he loves to tell and talk about those stories. Especially the story during the war where he persuaded my grandma to marry him.
This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.
My grandpa could only really remember his wife and kids by the time he died, but like yours he loved telling stories from the past. One night I was over there he told me several times about his cute little crush from grade school.
Hi! I just came to your post through the wordpress main site. I hope you don’t mind hearing from a random person, but this was really moving. My condolences for you and your family, and remember that your grandfather really was a hero. He did so much more with the time he was given than so many people ever do. Look back on the good times and happy memories
I never mind hearing from random people. Thanks for stopping by!
May this be a time to thank God for the wonderful times you all had with him. He may be gone in body, but each one who knew him will always have his/her special memories which will never end. The things he said are done is more real now then when he was alive. The hurt you feel is because your love for him was pure. I thank God that we can always have our love ones in our hearts. He Lives In You So Enjoy Him Forever. This is to a friend from a friend.
What a beautiful way to honor your grandfather’s life and service! The pictures were so fitting. I love the one of the two of them when they were young. Love and condolences to you and your whole family.
My grandmother had Alzheimer’s. Your post made me cry and empathise with you.
Thank you for your words, and I’m sorry for your double loss.
L
A very moving post. Touched my heart. I came across it through WordPress main page. My condolences to you and your family.
My grandfather, a WWII vet himself, is also in the throes of dementia, and it’s awful for us to watch. He’s a brilliant and funny man who sounds a lot like your grandpa. Beautiful post, sorry for your loss.
Thank you to everyone who has, or will, comment. He is a very special man and I’m glad more people know something about him now. I am also happy that so many of you were able to remember your own relatives. I just love knowing how many special people out there are remembered in the hearts of their loved ones.
Your Grandpa was a good man, from a time and mindset that is hard for someone of the latter 20th and early 21st Centuries to ever imagine. Things were presented in a much clearer way back then. People did what they did . . . because it needed to be done. I really envy that generation. They could trust that their country was just and true, and they were doing the right thing. Back then the country was much less sophisticated, but genuinely more happy and content.
In some ways, your grandmother lost him years ago, when the Alzheimer’s took him. She may have still had him physically, but in a lot of ways he was already gone.
I am not confident about any kind of an afterlife. It’s a nice thought, but no one can know for sure. The Darryls of the world serve to show us that conditioned minds are narrow minds. I’m so glad that his opinion cannot effect you.
Kiss your Grandma for me, kid!
Your Uncle Rave
What a lovely comment. It was indeed a time when people did what was needed. Luckily he set such a good example that his children and grandchildren have also developed that work ethic and sense of duty he did such a good job of exemplifying.
Lovely tribute
i think that is i sad that so meny people can get Alzheimer’s it is so sad to think for one moment the you knoe that peosone with and gerat hart remembering you and the next day thinking to thereselfs were are there for me that would put a deep hole in my hart and for that mans father to die at such a young age it is devastating to hear.
Thanks a lot for this. I am deeply moved. I have read your post many times, because I am experienced in very similar way. My grandma died 3 years ago, she was 84. She became very close to me, during last years of her life. I was visiting her almost today. She loved poetry and flowers. She was also the member of the our underground army during Second War.
Hovewer, her death in such old age was something natural, I still miss for her. I believe she is in better world now. Greets from Poland.
Thanks for the comment from across the world. I’m glad you were able to become close with your grandmother before she died.
Im so touched by that post and it actually made me cry to read such a touching meomrian. Im so sorry for your loss and i completely understand what you mean that men and women who lost their lives in any war for our country are not registered as people but numbers. I wish we could all just take an hour to look at all the peoples names who have died for this country, and the ones who will die tommorow, the next day and the day after that.
Many wishes of happiness to you and your family
x
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my grandmother almost one year ago to Alzheimer’s. Sometimes when I visited her, I would have to turn around and get myself together because the skeleton with skin covering it was not the woman I knew as my grandmother. A strong, independent widow became a glassy eyed, scared child. She stopped knowing who I was years before her death.
My grandfather is my only surviving grandparent. He too has Alzheimer’s. He too fought in the war. He too will not be forgotten by the people who love him. I am praying for you and your family.
I am so glad you were Freshly Pressed!! His life is touching even more people now through you. God bless!
I’m sorry to hear you have to go through seeing both grandparents with Alzheimers. Thanks for sharing.
This is so beautiful. What a lovely tribute.
I can especially relate because my own grandfather died earlier this week (not Alzheimer but Parkinsons, another of those dignity-destructing diseases) – born in ’30 he was too young to have been called to the army, but I recognize much of the same spirit you describe about your grandfather. I am very sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family.
The most impressive and heartbreaking story i’ve ever heard. feel so sorry for your grandparents. After reading your post, i just started to think about the real sense of our life…your grandpa did everything…. Like u sad, he was a grandpa, i think a good one if you wrote a post bout him, a good husband, cousin, friend and he loved and fighted for his Country, for freedom. Thank you for this post. i Wish someday i would be the granny, and someone like you would write with respect and love about me…:)
Your story tugs at my heart strings. My dad, a world war II vet, died of Alzheimer’s 5 years ago. You can’t sum them up (my dad, your grandfather) in a few words. They quietly live their lives as best they could and did what needed to be done. There isn’t much glory for people like that in this world accept for the satisfaction of living a good life and being loved. In the end I think they were happy with that. My dad died 3 months before he and my mom celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I know that her heart was broken but I think she finds comfort , still, in the love of her children and grandchildren and the belief that she will see him again. That first year was so hard but I believe that they are with us still and as close as a breath away. Take heart in that and let yourself feel what ever you need. Be good to yourself.
“There isn’t much glory for people like that in this world except for the satisfaction of living a good life and being loved.”
So true. But I think these kind of people also don’t want awards or tons of recognition. They lived like that because it was the right thing to do. Thanks for your suggestion of Alzheimers walk. I’ll have to check that out.
I wanted to add that the Alzheimer’s association is having “Memory Walks” all across the country. I will be walking in Los Angeles in November. It was a great thing to do for me and my family (we started when my dad was still alive” I thought it might help you and your family if you wanted to find a way to pay tribute and help other families who are struggling with this horrible disease. I hope you find some peace in all of this heart ache.
For me, my family, my friends, your grandfather was an American liberator of our country, an American heroe of War n°2. One of those courageous, generous men we will never forget!
Thank you.
My condolences to you and your family. My grandparents had a similar situation. I am our family “historian” as well, and for me, all of those ancestors of mine can be looked at as numbers, or as a part of the times in which they lived, but I cannot help but look at them and think about the kind of people that they were. Blessings to you.
Beautifully written.
This is heart breaking. Condolences to you and your family.
Thank you for making this tribute.
I am glad you were Freshly Pressed so I could read it!
All my best,
Jennifer
Truly a touching and powerful memorial. I can only say that I’m sorry for your loss.
What an honest, heartfelt post. Thank you for that. And you bring up a really interesting issue- the idea of people being lost among statistics. You put a face to a number in this post. Everyone deserves to be written about like this.
I am so sorry to hear that your grandfather passed away. Thank you for letting those of us reading your blog to see his pictures and know a little about him.
My father was also a WWII vet. He died on February 6, 2010, at the age of 90. He was the last member of his unit to pass away. Fortunately, his mind was excellent until the last two weeks of his life. He lived his entire life in a house built by his grandfather for 79 years of his life. He served 4 years, 8 months, and 28 days in the United States Army. He fought in France, Belgium, The Netherlands, and Germany (Battle of the Bulge) and was wounded twice. Whenever he spoke of the hardships of his service, it was as if he was talking about a day at the office. There was never a complaint about what he endured. It was just his duty to do it.
I am sorry for your loss, and same as many others, I can sympathise.
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable, and I hope this wont effect you wedding
Beautiful tribute to you grandfather and the relationship he had with your grandmother. A touching story that many can relate to.
Beautiful tribute.
Sorry for your loss!
I found you post quite by accident but am glad I could read your wonderful words. grandparents are wonderful gifts
I salute both your grandfather and yourself. And believe me, you’ll see him again. The life he has just left behind is not his last, that’s a fact.
Bless You,
Dylan Alexander
Incidentally as I was reading this I got a forwarded text message that my uncle, an 80+ year old World War II veteran is slowly nearing the rope’s end in some hospital. The text message requests for prayers for the old man to stay for just a little bit longer. My uncle and all those who fought for freedom during the dark days of the 1940s are the real heroes of mankind. We, in the now, must keep in mind those generations of heroes and pass it on to the future. Millions of men and women. It’s sad when another era has come to pass.
This is beautiful. I hope your grandmother is ok, I don’t know what I would do without someone I had been with for so long.
Condolances
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings, you honor his memory by your words.
thanks for sharing your story -
A wonderful tribute to your grandfather. Thank you for telling us about him.
That was a great post. I think all of us who were lucky to know members of the greatest generation, and have them impart their lessons are indeed lucky. Thanks for sharing a bit of the story of his life.
Its very sad when someone dies close to you. I too have gone through that phase. Life is simple but with many surprises. And to unpack those surprises sometime it ll shock you and sometime give you a smile in your face.
What a wonderfull post you wrote about your grandfather. A fine character. And remember, he served not only your country, but Germany as well. So I could grow up in Freedom. Danke!
Peter
No one should be able to have their mind robbed.
Powerfully put.
How have your parents and aunts/uncles been?
Lovely post – I feel better for knowing about him. And you.
What a beautiful memorial to your grandfather. His generation had a certain class to it that I fear we will never attain. Thank you for sharing your memories.
Thanks for taking the time to highlight the life of a good man who made the world a better place.
Helllo I think your blog is very good i found it on Yahoo I think will come back again
You have my condolences on your loss. Yes care for our battle-scarred veterans is at times quite lacking. This makes the fight against extraneous government spending all the more critical. If the government wasn’t so focused on providing that which can be easily provided by private non-profits funded by free-will donations, which is assistance for the needy, then there would be plenty of taxpayer money available for government’s duties of facilitating commerce and providing for the public safety and defense and also for providing for the care of those who fight to protect our nation. Thus incidentally you have given me an idea for my next blog (you can view it by clicking on my name in this comment).
Amen! I have blogged about this at: http://writeyourmemoir.com/he-was-a-statistic-he-was-also-a-person/. –Martha Jewett
Dear Di,
My deepest condolences. My mother also suffers from Alzheimer’s; I work abroad, and every time I go home for a visit, she has slipped a bit further away. My father is devoted to her, and somehow, her connection to him has stayed strong through the growing fogginess of her awareness. I truly dread the day when either of them passes; it will be so devastating for us all.
May your grandfather’s memory live long in the hearts and minds of all who knew him; he was clearly a blessing to be cherished.